Carol Kane continues to be the best part of Strange New Worlds, as well as everything else she has ever acted in, life, the universe, and everything.

Nintendo executives don't need those fancy Japanese toilets. They have Nintendo fans willing to lick their buttholes clean.

Why did we never get a live action Jetsons movie in the same vein as The Flintstones with Rosie O'Donnell as Rosey the Robot?

I'd even accept a lesser "Viva Rock Vegas"-style movie with Alan Cumming as Orbitty.

No matter how many times I replay Elden Ring and how over-levelled I get, I will always avoid and run away from the big fuckyou bears.

Supergirl failed at the box office because most people who still go to theatres are older people resistant to change and young people who want to act obnoxious in public. Both skew conservative, so a movie with "girl" in the title and starring a girl they don't want to fuck is too woke for them.

A response to the recent controversy

I just want to say: I am truly sorry that you disagree with me. I understand how difficult it must be to be so wrong about everything, and it was not my intention to exacerbate things by being right.

I would also like to apologize on behalf of your mother, who dropped you on your head immediately after you were born. She just let you slide out and straight onto the floor.

It was also extremely--EXTREMELY--unprofessional for the doctor to pick you up and dribble you a couple times before chest-passing you to the nurse.

The nurse's dunk was also uncalled for.

I will literally give you a tracheotomy and shit in your new throat hole if you ever tell me something bad about Richard Kind.

If Disney makes a realistic CG TaleSpin movie with John Goodman as Baloo that is a continuation of the animated series instead of a reboot, all will be forgiven.

Peach's reaction to meeting Fox McCloud is definitely her furry awakening.

 

I like how Kamek in the Mario movies sounds like Peter Lorre, but I hate that most people who watch the movies won't even know the Looney Tunes version of Peter Lorre.

Personally, I'm a "Crime and Punishment" Peter Lorre fan.

The new Doom DLC just reaffirms that The Dark Ages should've been a Quake game.

And why is everything subtitled "Revelations" again? Were they just waiting for enough time to pass, hoping people would forget how overused it was? CEOs must've been itching like addicts to be able to use it again.

Remember when they were making a new Earthworm Jim game, before Tommy Tallarico took the crowdfunding money and ran, and they had to assure people the original creator WASN'T involved in order to scam everyone? I just think it's funny that Doug Tennapel is such a uniquely hated piece of shit.

Doug Tennapel is such a garbage homunculoid that even Tommy Tallarico was like "yeah I'm not with him."

Has anyone else noticed Ubisoft doesn't know how reversing a vehicle works? The analogue stick always controls the camera rather than the steering so it's always fucking backwards.

I don't understand why they keep making Poison Ivy vegan. Wouldn't she prefer to eat nothing but meat?

My favourite part of the Devil May Cry anime continues to be how mad it makes fans of the games.

"How dare they make the story more complicated than good guys good and bad guys bad!"

'90s kids be like.

 

I like how, no matter how many times they remake it and across all different media, Alone In The Dark is never very good but is still weirdly enjoyable.

This is my first time playing Halo 5. I finally understand why they call it "Halo 5". It's because there are five Halos (also called Master Chiefs).

I've figured out I'm in the midst of a mid-life crisis, but instead of sports cars I'm ordering the complete set of McDonald's Batman Forever movie tie-in mugs on ebay.

"Ick" is entertaining, but it is not a good movie. The pacing and editing are random. The writers think modern teens sound and act like millennials. Meanwhile Brandon Routh plays an actual millennial, but no millennial would ever say Creed is the greatest band ever. Not even the ones who like Creed.