Nintendo executives don't need those fancy Japanese toilets. They have Nintendo fans willing to lick their buttholes clean.

Why did we never get a live action Jetsons movie in the same vein as The Flintstones with Rosie O'Donnell as Rosey the Robot?

I'd even accept a lesser "Viva Rock Vegas"-style movie with Alan Cumming as Orbitty.

No matter how many times I replay Elden Ring and how over-levelled I get, I will always avoid and run away from the big fuckyou bears.

Supergirl failed at the box office because most people who still go to theatres are older people resistant to change and young people who want to act obnoxious in public. Both skew conservative, so a movie with "girl" in the title and starring a girl they don't want to fuck is too woke for them.

A response to the recent controversy

I just want to say: I am truly sorry that you disagree with me. I understand how difficult it must be to be so wrong about everything, and it was not my intention to exacerbate things by being right.

I would also like to apologize on behalf of your mother, who dropped you on your head immediately after you were born. She just let you slide out and straight onto the floor.

It was also extremely--EXTREMELY--unprofessional for the doctor to pick you up and dribble you a couple times before chest-passing you to the nurse.

The nurse's dunk was also uncalled for.

I will literally give you a tracheotomy and shit in your new throat hole if you ever tell me something bad about Richard Kind.

If Disney makes a realistic CG TaleSpin movie with John Goodman as Baloo that is a continuation of the animated series instead of a reboot, all will be forgiven.