Let me guess: he's going to play an awkward young boy who, despite all odds, still manages to get laid. Just look at him up there with his guitar, all quirky and potentially gay yet still able to tap all kinds of ass while I'm forced to pleasure myself each hour like some sort of animal!

Cera voices Nick, a seemingly gallant boy who becomes a potential love interest for Lisa. “He starts quoting Hemingway and she says, ‘You’re not a product of the Springfield public schools, are you?’ And he goes, ‘No, I come to Springfield for the food and the women,’” says executive producer Al Jean. (Entertainment Weekly)

Then Lisa gets teen pregnant and Michael Cera starts The Facebook. Or maybe that was Jesse Eisenberg. I can never tell those people apart, and by "those people" I mean jews.

Yes, that’s Dirk Benedict, who played Starbuck in the original Battlestar Galactica series from 1978; and Katee Sackhoff, who played Starbuck in the 2003 remake of Battlestar Galactica; sitting in a Starbucks, which is a dumpster filled with used coffee grounds that Americans like to filter water through.

The Mortal Kombat web series directed by Kevin Tancharoen and starring Jeri Ryan and Michael Jai White will start airing on Tuesday, April 12th on Machinima.com. This is what I’ve been waiting for all year. Everything else coming out right now sucks, so I’ve pinned all my hopes on this series being a hit. If the trailer (above) is any indication, Mortal Kombat will be the hottest thing to hit the internet since those pictures of my dick.

What day is it? Saturday? The shit--? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

No, I certainly did NOT spend the entire week drinking instead of doing whatever it is I do for the site. I’ve been out saving mormons from falling to temptation. Hey, baby. You wanna see the serpent in my garden? *Slap!* God be with you!

So this is the new Wonder Woman, or something (full picture here). I don’t know. This is just what people tell me. I just don’t care about TV superhero revivals. I watched, like, six episodes of Smallville and wondered why they changed Lois Lane’s name to Lana Lang and why she was Asian, and then there was another Lois Lane and that just confused the hell out of me. Then some people explained to me that Lana Lang is an actual character from the comics, and I told them to fuck off because nobody could be that uncreative and stupid.

Have I mentioned the new Avatar mini-series, Legend of Korra, before? No? Shit. And it’s not like the site’s been lacking for T. V.-related content or anything. How about I just write another games post instead? Would you like that? Hmm? Would that make you a happy little monkey?

So, The Wall Street Journal has a cast list and new image (full size here) for Legend of Korra, which is a follow-up to Avatar: The Last Airbender centred on the next avatar: a waterbender named Korra. The cast is as follows:

Janet Varney as KORRA
Kiernan Shipka as JINORA
Daniel Dae Kim as HIROSHI SATO
David Faustino as MAKO
Seychelle Gabriel as ASAMI
Lance Henriksen as LIEUTENANT
P.J. Byrne as BOLIN
JK Simmons as TENZIN

Is Lance Henriksen hard up for work or something? Because the last thing I saw him in was Alien vs. Predator, and then he voiced Bishop Weyland in the new AvP game and that’s it. I heard he also had a cameo in Jennifer’s Body but I never saw that movie. Megan Fox isn’t a good enough reason for me to forgo movie standards, no matter how many lesbian scenes they use to tempt me with. I guess my point is that Legend of Korra needs to have a lesbian scene.

• Legend of Korra: Exclusive Cast Announcement - The Wall Street Journal

Remember that Mortal Kombat pitch trailer created by Kevin Tancharoen last year? You should, because it’s embedded at the top of this post. Well, that trailer has since spawned a web series that is currently being filmed and produced by Warner Bros.

One question that people have had about the web series is will any of the trailer’s cast be returning? Because apparently some of them were doing it as a personal favour for Tancharoen. But on Monday it was confirmed that Jeri Ryan and Michael Jai White, who played Sonya Blade and Jax in the trailer, will be reprising their respective roles and Darren Shahlavi (300) has been cast as Kano. Tancharoen is also confirmed to be directing the shorts.

I actually found this news right before my flight on Monday and figured that I could wait to post it until my plane landed, but since the Internet has been out where I’m staying I was never able to. So excuuuuuuse me if Destructoid posted this four days before I did.