Resident Evil 4 is one of the highest-rated games of all time and perhaps single-handedly saved the GameCube from obscurity. It follows the adventures of Leon Kennedy as he's vacationing in rural Spain, and suddenly all kinds of startling things begin happening in this surprisingly large and affluent farming community. Things like deranged hutterites kidnapping barely-legal teen girls.

But before Leon was killing Spanish villagers in the most mildly racist manner possible, he was set to infiltrate the heart of the Umbrella Corporation and deliver a portfolio crushing suplex to company president Ozwell E. Spencer. After that he was going to be whisked off to investigate a haunted mansion in Europe filled with zombies, creepy dolls and posessed deer heads. That's why you always ask the landlord if anyone has died in the house before you rent it because how else are you gonna know? When your deer heads start running around and rummaging through your fridge you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

These were the original, unreleased versions of Resident Evil 4 that were shown at E3 and the Tokyo Game show in 2002 and 2003. Each was a cool departure from the series' norms that any Resident Evil fan would have loved to play, and although they'll never be released to the public I still like to revisit the original videos and images and wax nostalgic about what might have been.

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This week is all about the indie games and, yes, I am aware that "Indonese" is a shitty play on words.

Supergiant Games' "Bastion" (pictured) is fucking awesome and you should buy it now. It's only available on PC via the Steam Store, however, which I'm still reluctant to support. I know that Steam has become a ubiquitous part of PC gaming, but I'm working under the impression that Valve will just renounce their support for Steam any day now and all of the games people have bought will be lost. I should really move this post along, though. I've got to get back to my street corner and hold up my various doomsday signs. "The End is Near!" "Repent!" "$2 Highballs Every Thursday!"

"To the Moon" is an upcoming RPG by Freebird Games that's about an old guy who wanted to be an astronaut, or something. Luckily science has reached the point where we can alter a person's memories on their deathbed, and the scientists themselves finally get to live out their life-long dreams of becoming psychonauts.

I don't know if "To the Moon" will be freeware or not, but all of Freebird's previous projects are available to download for free right here.

Did you buy the Humble Indie Bundle #3? I sure did! So did over 370, 000 other people, raising over $2, 000, 000 for indie developers, the ESA and the Child's Play charity. However, there are over six billion people in the world right now, which means that a huge majority of you are cheap motherfuckers and should be ashamed of yourselves. I'll bet that not a single Ethiopian bought the bundle this year, so those starving bastards can go straight to hell.

I know that you, sweet reader, have already heard about Nintendo reducing the cost of its 3DS system by $80 mere months after its launch. At half-past-eight o'clock in the evening of the same day I'm not going to pretend that this is news anymore, so I'll offer my unique thoughts on the matter instead. Don't act like you're uninterested in my opinion because why else would you be here if you weren't? Oh, you're a fan of Psycho Gorilla? Damn it, that's what they all say! All right, you're excused for this lesson.

To the four of you who have stayed, I ask what does such a drastic reduction in the 3DS's price so soon after its launch actually mean? For one thing, it means that Nintendo needs to start supporting its hardware with real games because this bullshit has been going on for a while. During the pre-launch discussions of the GameCube, a Nintendo representative stated that the company expected to provide 60-80 per cent of the system's titles (GameSpot). Now, we all remember the GameCube: it was a reliable little system with some great games, but not a lot of games. You may say that quality matters over quantity, but quantity ensures that there's at least something for everyone. If you prefer first-person shooters or RPGs over action-adventure games and platformers, the GameCube wasn't your system. And it wasn't the system for a lot of people, apparently, because it was the worst-selling console of its generation (unless you count the Dreamcast, but only hipsters still insist on doing that).

This kind of hipster.

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I actually posted this sometime last year, but it got lost in the shuffle while I was porting articles to the new database. It's not the best thing I've ever written, but reposting it is better than trying to come up with something new. Enjoy.

If you’ve been readin’ what I’ve been tweetin’, you’ll know that I’ve recently come to acquire my very own Sega Game Gear. My friend owned one while we were growing up and it’s actually the system that got me interested in games in the first place. I used to borrow it and play all manner of exciting and sophisticated jewels, like Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and Surf Ninjas.

Now that I have my hairy hands on a GG again for the first time in thirteen years I’ve been trying to rebuild my old experiences. I’ve managed to track down three of the seven games that my friend used to own: Sonic the Hedgehog 2, The Adventures of Batman & Robin and Surf Ninjas. Now I just need to find the two Power Rangers games and Sonics Triple Trouble and Chaos and I'll finally be able to pretend that I'm ten years old again.

So far, though, Batman & Robin is the only game that I can play for serious and not just nostalgia. Surf Ninjas is pretty good for a two-button brawler, but it’s hard to imagine how we all got by twenty years ago with games that didn’t even have password saves. Having to either replay the first level over and over again or find a level select cheat is just stupid when we now have games that save for us without even asking. They’re just like, "Hey, you’re coming up to a pretty tough part where you’ll probably die a crazy amount of times. Let me back up your progress for you," and you're like, "Thanks autosave!"

Besides digging up Game Gear gold, I also recently found the Sega Classics Collection for PS2. While most of the games on the disk are crap not worthy of sitting in my bowels, there are a few sweet nuggets included. Phantasy Star IV, Ecco the Dolphin and the ubiquitous Sonic the Hedgehog games are all worth playing again if you can find them all for under ten dollars. However, I now own five separate copies of Sonic the Hedgehog 2—the Genesis and Game Gear originals, one port for the GameCube and two for the PS2—which is far too many to be acceptable in polite company.

Zeno Clash is on sale for $3.75 until Monday. It's a first-person brawler set in a bizarre fantasy world filled with strange creatures, like Father-Mother, a cross-gender being that gives birth to many of the game's characters. Now, I know what you're thinking and the answer is yes, having both a penis and a vagina would be awesome!

Aliens: Infestation, previously mentioned back in 2009, has been rated by the ESRB for the Nintendo DS. It's a side-scrolling shooter being made by … I don't know, Capcom? To be honest, I'm not really paying attention to what I'm doing here. Some show called Kids in the Hall is on the T. V. and I am simply enamoured by all of the gorgeous women in it—and by "enamoured" I mean "touching my penis."

The virus from 28 Days Later is real and going to fuck us all, or at least that's what I got from the headline of this Ars Technica article. I've gotten into trouble for jumping to conclusions before, though, like the time I said that James Franco will gay rape us all and then I was sued for libel. Still, I'm pretty sure I've made the right call this time.

DESCRIPTION:

Isis is the ancient Egyptian goddess of maternity and fertility.  She is known as a friend of sinners, the down and out, slaves, and generally low in life, while still listening to the prayers of the rich and powerful.  In other words, she's the original working class hero.  

She protects the dead in the afterlife while still being directly representative of the beginning of life itself, and legends tell of her power of resurrection by gathering body parts and putting them together like Dr. Frank N. Stein would do thousands of years later. Had they focused more on the legal system 5000 years ago, she could have gotten together with the jews and sued the fuck out of both him and Jesus for encroaching on her intellectual property.  

Concepts of resurrection and eternal life were symobolized via blood, roses, etc, but I just like to generalize and simplify by saying "pussy," which I think Buddha was getting at anyway.  She is most well-known today through the bodily resurrection of her human form, Isis Love (not even close to safe for work).  She was also a real asskicker in her guest appearance in Final Fantasy Legend II, and it's no coincidence that was one of the better Square games, since it indirectly promoted pussy for once before the whole company collectively came out of the closet.

METHOD OF WORSHIP:

As seems to be common with many of the gods of pre-Christianity, I appreciate the promotion of pussy and motherhood, leading me to logically assume I can fuck around as much as I want and as irresponsibly as I feel the need, since Isis mentions nothing of fatherhood (I'm 2000 percent sure I'm not the father, Murray).  

The worship of Isis on a cult level consisted of controlling weather and understanding the meaning of dreams, so my only real responsibility will be to do the same job as every paid meteorologist.  I'll wildly guess from day to day, blaming other gods like Tengri in case I'm ever wrong.  With the interpretation part, I'll be informing the girl with huge tits at the bar that her dream about fucking her father that's been bothering her so much was because of deep-rooted daddy issues and a desire to be with a real man, so let that nature free and get that Kung Pao Pussy working on my resErection (I'm still wearing my straw hat).  Results to follow.

It's been a couple of weeks since I've posted on a Sunday. You can either blame me, or that damned liberal media for not being liberal enough and stinging out on the sexy pictures and other goodies that are worth posting. This week has been considerably more loose than the last, though, so enjoy the return of Sunday Links. Just be sure to wear protection if you don't want your dick to rot off.

A new gameplay video for Batman: Arkham City (pictured) features Catwoman doing things. I'll only cover the Arkham Fill-in-the-Blank games when there's explicit sexuality involved because I have no interest otherwise. It's my way of saying to the developers "tits or GTFO."

Jeremy Parish is the new editor-in-chief of 1Up.com, so congratulations to him. I've been reading his side blog GameSpite for a couple of years now—too bad for him him that I've never purchased an issue of GS Quarterly, though! Ha-ha! I'm so fucking cheap.

"Golf Sector 6" is a free Flash game about playing golf on Saturn's moons. The levels were all created using actual images of the moons taken by NASA, which is cool, and you have to compensate for the varying amounts of gravity as you play. I like this idea since I'm white and therefore a pretty big fan of golf. Also my family is rich so we probably owned slaves at some point, and hiring a caddy is the closest thing we can get to reliving the good old days.