About The Site

The 34th Dimension

. . . is a geek-culture and satire website created in 2008. This site is about all of the things that don't matter in life yet many of us care too much about anyway. In fifty years nobody is going to remember what movies came out in 2011 or which system won the console wars, but we can proudly say that we covered it all here and without a shred of dignity.

In short, The 34th Dimension is awesome and everybody loves it. So tell your friends—if they're reluctant to visit, strap them down and beat them. Nothing says "friendship" like hitting.

Revealing the Magic

Adapted from a post written by Eek in 2008

Every day, literally billions of people visit this site. Many of them have been wondering, "just how do you write all this amazing content." Well, now I’m going to answer that question once and for all. Prepare yourself, for you are about to witness something magical.

It all starts with a hearty breakfast of Whatever’s Left in the Cupboards. Month-old bananas, coffee grounds and pieces of Cinnamon Toast Crunch that fell out of the box are all game when you’re an Internet writer. I try not to limit myself, though, and mix-and-match whenever possible.

After breakfast it’s off to work. What? No, not on the site. Silly reader, the Internet doesn’t pay bills! Ha-ha! No, I have a real job that occupies 40 hours of every week that I’m alive. Oh, what a glorious day death will bring!

Working eight hours a day by myself gives me ample time to come up with new content for all of you to read and adore. But I don’t. 95% of what you see here is made up on the spot by our crack team of trained pandas. Or is that "team of crack-addicted pandas"? I’m never sure! Ha-ha!

The other 5% of content is well planned and thought out for about a week before being thrown together in one night of passion fueled by energy drinks and sluts.

So where exactly do I draw my inspiration from besides caffeine and whores? Good question!

Once an article is written, it’s time to open up [arbitrary graphics program] and create some images to enchant the reader’s ocular senses with things like colour and asbestos.

Graphics Technology — The wonders of modern graphics technology

Once everything is finished and edited, it is all posted to the site where your little nerd-brains can absorb all of the delectable nutrients. Remember: all of my writing is an excellent source of fibre and vitamin GTFO.

Behind the Scenes

The 34th Dimension runs on a custom-built CMS written by Eek specifically for this site, because he obviously has nothing better to do with his time. His next projects, I am told, are attempts to reinvent the wheel and discover fire for a second time.