Anybody who knows me knows that when I refer to somebody as fat as Tommy Lasorda, I follow the old adage: "Nobody is that fat and not gay." However, in the case of Lasorda himself, such is not the case, because his fatness is eclipsed only by his I-talianness, and we all know it is physically impossible for somebody that I-talian to be gay. The fact that he is a hideous beast of a man (redundant in the case of I-talians) is beside the point.

This phenomenon has no effect on the game itself, however; that’s mostly because it’s just another Sega game circa 1989 that has a name slapped on it and shipped out. In this game’s case, it makes little difference either way, because it’s just a fun little baseball title with no team licenses of any sort, and bare bones, basic gameplay. You won’t find a lot of depth, focus on stats, or deep strategy here. It’s very easy to pick up and play, but the controls can get tricky once somebody hammers a line drive and the announcer calls out "SHORTSTOP!" and you’re supposed to react in that split second it goes to overhead mode and you realize it’s like you’re back in little league and a ball flies past you while you got distracted by that bee stuck in the grass with its wing damaged. But somehow, you picture Tommy Lasorda and his uncanny ability to hawk diet products despite looking every bit as fat and hideous (I-talian) as always, without any visible results, and you realize everything will be okay. Just picture yourself as a weak woman, and Tommy is hugging you in your hour of need, shortly before he throws a full can of beer at you, calls you a cunt and starts screaming racial slurs at the TV. I give it