Bargain Bin

Roger Clemens' MVP Baseball (Genesis)

There comes a time when we need to just set some expectations right off the bat.  This is probably the worst Genesis sports game I've ever played.  Nobody tried on any level to unfuck that which was fucked, from the horridly counterintuitive fielding controls, the very worst Genesis music in history playing throughout the game (which at least you have the option of turning off), graphics that make you think you're playing an early NES game, cheap computer play, totally offense-oriented gameplay, generic playing field, generic team names, Clemens' steroid use, on and on.  It's truly reflective of the steroid era in all ways, from the outrageously high scores to inability for anybody watching or playing to really care.

Fact is, I ought to just stop this review right now, since nobody is trying.  Not the developers at Sculptured Software in any capacity other than showing up, not Sega for half-assedly slapping Clemens' name on crap, and certainly not Clemens himself in even trying to get a good lie going to a grand jury about his steroid use other than "I swear I didn't do it!" while balding and looking more like Bane wearing a Yankees uniform rather than a blacktual baseball player.  I hope he eventually gets the book thown at him, and if it's at all possible, I wish the prosecutors could add this game to the list of charges that should get him some prison time.   The only game that could have scraped the bottom of the barrel further would have been Marion Jones' Drug Free Track Meet - I Don't Consider Horse Hormones to Be Drugs 2000.

I give this game one Fuck You, Roger Clemens.  Out of syringe.

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Comments

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CommieCatGirl

These aren't steroids, they're my magical muscle medications!

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Psycho Gorilla

Drugs turned him baldgay.