I wholeheartedly blame everyone but me for this. You guys loved your Humble Bundles so much that they spawned a copycat. IndieRoyale is this new bastard's name, and there are some important features that you need to be aware of before you let your daughter go on a date with this new service.
Bundles are released periodically and instead of letting you set any price for the games on offer, as the Humble Bundle does, there's actually a minimum amount that slowly creeps upward. You can pay more than the minimum and force the price back down for others, but why would anyone ever do that?
So, the guys running IndieRoyale are cleverly disguised assholes, which is actually great. They slowly raise the price of each bundle and rely on the generosity of others to reduce it, which means that they're going to be making no less than infinity dollars. They also don't bother with any of that "charity" nonsense, because fuck kids. No, not in that way. Stop fucking that child! You don't know where it's been!
You just missed the IndieRoyale Launch Bundle, but that's okay because it wasn't that good. Gemini Rue is sort of interesting if you're the type who swears that ScummVM is the best game engine ever created, and Sanctum is an all right tower defense game, but nothing too special. The next bundle starts in nine days and is titled "the Difficult 2nd Bundle," so I'm assuming the games will be hard or something. Unlike your penis, which I hear is quite soft even in the bedroom. Hiyo!
Hold onto your self esteems, kids, because there's more!
The Humble Bundle jackasses have teamed up with something called a Lexaloffle and now you can buy a game called Voxatron for whatever price you want. Voxatron is an arcadey-style shooter with voxel graphics and a level editor, so in other words it's pretty sweet. But allowing people to name any price for it is exactly the sort of bullshit I've come to expect from the independent gaming community. They're on a mission to subvert capitalism! You can't just leave food on a plate and tell people that they can pay for it if they really want to. How will anyone get rich doing that!?
This whole thing makes me sick and I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
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