Bargain Bin

ESPN Baseball Tonight Review (SNES)

This game stinks of 1994.  Even worse, it stinks of 1994 ESPN.  This was before ESPN became Disney-fied and started going Hollywood and got way too big for their own good.

The important thing to know about ESPN, for non-sports fans, is that they don't actually MAKE anything.  They repackage shit and sell it as their own.  This is perfectly legal in the corporate world, and they add insult to injury by pulling original content made by independent creative minds using packaged material in a way that could be perceived as productive.

Even here, they're just slapping their name on something developed by a company called Park Place and released by Sony, another notorious ripoff company.  None of this game is innovative, original, or fun.  The only draw is the smooth animation, which was done better and sooner by many other baseball games.

The insultingly basic yet often confusing controls are made that much worse when the gameplay is hideously unbalanced towards scoring.  I guess it was the harbinger of the steroid era!

The audio sounds like something out of a text to speech demo, and the intros are done by Chris "I might have invented being gayfat" Berman.  The saddest part is that THIS game got to use the licensed team names out of all the other far more deserving titles.  I give it my current lowest sports game rating: One Crudely Drawn Penis in Mark May's Mouth.

 

Did you like this post? Then try some of these:

LostWinds Review (WiiWare)

LostWinds is so gosh darn pretty, I wish they'd make a goddamn sequel already.

Aliens: Infestation (DS) - First Impressions

A pretty cool game who doesn't afraid of anything.

Hell Run: The Doom Marine's Story

Everyone knows the story of Doom: a lone marine saves the world from the legions of Hell, kicking ass all the way back to Earth. But who among us can say they know what really happened up there at the UAC facility? Today, the Doom Marine is here to recount his grisly tale as only he can.

Comments

Avatar

CommieCatGirl

Gotta love that crudely drawn penis in some negro I don't give a fuck's mouth!

Avatar

Psycho Gorilla

If there's one pic I'm glad I got moved over before freewebs imploded and betrayed me at the same time, it's the dick one.